The Call That Called Me Forward
In October, I met John at the Conscious Capitalism CEO Summit in Austin. We didn’t spend much time together at the event, but something about our brief interaction felt aligned. Afterward, John emailed me, and we scheduled a time to connect.
When we finally got on the call, John opened with a question that immediately caught me off guard:
“Do you really want to be on this call, or are you not up for it?”
I paused, feeling a wave of embarrassment. Apparently, even through the screen, my exhaustion was obvious. He seemed so present and intent on being there with me, and in that moment, I felt like I owed him the same. I took a deep breath, steadied myself, and leaned in.
The Weight of Sharing This Story
Writing about this conversation—and my own journey—is hard. It feels deeply personal, almost like a diary entry, and part of me wants to keep it locked away. There’s embarrassment and fear tied to being this vulnerable, especially when I’ve spent so much of my life trying to project strength and resilience.
But I’m sharing it because I think it might help someone else. Maybe you’ve also felt stuck in an old story or ashamed of a version of yourself you’ve outgrown. If that’s you, I want you to know you’re not alone, and you don’t have to stay in that place.
Letting Go of the Old Story
For a long time, I’ve clung to the story of DotConnect’s success—a “successful on paper” business that helped so many people. But beneath that story was a deeper truth I hadn’t fully acknowledged: I felt ashamed. Ashamed that the business had unraveled. Guilty that I hadn’t been able to keep it going. I felt like a failure, a bad leader, a loser.
That shame had kept me tied to an outdated story, one that defined me by what I used to have. But the reality is, I don’t want to rebuild what I had before. I don’t want a bigger company, more clients, or rapid growth fueled by ego. What I want is to build something intentionally small. A business that prioritizes alignment, values, and joy.
In our conversation, John helped me see that I’ve been clinging to the old story out of fear and habit. But the new story—the one that excites me—is about choosing clients I love, projects that energize me, and partnerships that feel reciprocal. It’s about embracing strategically small as not just a business model but as a philosophy.
The Lessons I’ve Learned
The last 18 months have been some of the most challenging of my life, but they’ve also taught me so much:
Trust your intuition.
Don’t rush the process.
It’s okay to say no.
Not everyone is cheering for you, and that’s okay.
Holding onto grudges only hurts you—forgiveness is freedom.
Work is just work.
And most importantly: relationships evolve, stories change, and that’s not a failure—it’s growth.
The Awakening
By the time John and I ended the call, I felt lighter, freer, and more present. For the first time in a long time, I let my guard down. I released the weight of the old story I’d been carrying and allowed myself to step into something new.
If I hadn’t had that conversation, I know I’d still be stuck, looping endlessly on the narrative of my past. But now, I see a new chapter unfolding—one where I define success on my own terms.
So, here’s the question I’m asking myself (and maybe you can ask it too):
What old story am I stuck in, and what might happen if I let it go?